That’s the tag line on Tallahassee media consultant Kevin Cate’s annual holiday video, which this year pummels a host of Florida politicos just in time for Santa to fill their stockings with coal.
Some highlights of the Cate Communication’s spoof exposes “the secret wish lists” of Fla pols:
The video opens with Santa relaxing by the fire whilst flipping through the local North Pole newspaper, which features this top-of-the-fold headline: “Negron: Creepy Senate Santa Resigning is Gift Enough,” accompanied by a photo of former Sen. Jack Latvala, who resigned this week amid an investigation into allegations that he promised legislative favors in exchange for sex.
As Santa opens the paper, a headline above Agriculture Commissioner Adam Putnam, a Republican gubernatorial candidate who some say has taken a decided pivot to the right since his days as a U.S. representative, says, “Delete my Congressional Record.”
This jab at state Sen. Jeremy Ring, a Democrat running for CFO and a former Yahoo! exec: “Gore is to the Internet as I am to Yahoo. Does that make me CFO?”
A dig at Chief Financial Officer Jimmy Patronis: “Need 8 Year Supply of Jheri Curl ASAP.”
And this cringe-worthy poke at U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz, who’s made the rounds on national TV of late, promoting President Donald Trump’s agenda: “Matt Gaetz: “I Want Trump to Grab Me Right in My Policy.”
Gov. Rick Scott, Attorney General Pam Bondi, U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson, U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio and others are also targets, and a headline notes media consultant and The Capitolist publisher “Brian Burgess helped with Some of These Jokes (Blame him).”
Cate is pledging $1 per view — up to $1,000 — to the Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Big Bend.
— By Dara Kam and Jim Turner.